I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
