i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
