Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize