people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
