I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Randomize
