my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
