i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize