we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
