can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
