i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
