This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Randomize
