Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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