I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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