I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
