I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
foreskin is a definite game changer
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
