He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
