thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
