listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
