We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
