Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
