Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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