Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
