Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
