think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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