So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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