Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
