it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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