I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
