garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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