i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
