also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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