still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
