so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
