It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
