This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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