She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
