Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
