Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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