Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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