Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
