Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
