clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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