Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize