I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
