weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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