Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
