I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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