It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
of course. lets lasso hookers.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize