Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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