Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
