Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
