ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
