you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
