i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
