She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
