shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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