I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
